If there's one thing every lady loves to hear about, it is other people's opinions on her family situation! Not really. It can be very annoying. This is what you should never say to a woman who doesn't have kids.
1. "Oh, you'll change your mind when you're older."
Someone told me that I'd change my mind about not wanting to smoke when I'm older, and that has not happened either.
2. "Are you guys trying?"
A question that almost all married couples will get as soon as they get married. Why do you want to know?
3. "It's not natural not to want kids."
That depends on the person. Everyone is different. Some people like the Duggars have a special gift for that. Not everyone wants kids. And you'll have to admit, there are some people that don't need to be having kids.
4. "Do you want to become a crazy cat lady?"
I sure do! I AM the crazy cat lady of my neighborhood. Darn proud of it?
5. "No kids? You must be going out and partying every night."
Tell me, you must be joking right? The party life? Me? Nah! I like to spend time on more important things that actually have meaning and purpose. I've got goals and dreams I would like to accomplish before I die.
6. "You'll regret it later."
I admit, there are people who regret having kids, and there are people who don't. I'm not anti-kid or anything. But you can't stereotype me as being one or the other.
7. "I used to be just like you, that is; until I had my little one. I changed my mind afterward."
Great. I'm glad you are happy with your decision. I'm also happy with mine, for the time being.
8. "That is so selfish!"
How is it selfish not to have any kids? I love kids, don't get me wrong, but have you looked into my situation before making that statement? Not everyone is capable of having kids.
9. "You'll never know what love is like until you have kids."
Actually, that's not true at all. I knew what love was the first time I experienced it 20+ years ago! I've loved plenty in my life, and many love me too. It's a wonderful gift!
10. "If you think you're tired now, wait untill the kids come."
There are other things that occupy the lives of people other than kids. A full time job, a house and a husband to take care of, a social network to build, a book to write, songs and music albums to make. That can take up an entire day, or more.
11. "My life didn't have any meaning until I had kids."
What a thing to say. But I, for one; do not base the meaning of life on whether I have kids or not. You shouldn't either.
12. "But you would be such a great mother."
I know I would. And thank you. But what if I never have that opportunity? Would that make me any less of a person? I think not.
13. "If you wait too long, it'll be too late."
God's time is different than our own. If it is his will for me to have one, it will happen at just the right time. Otherwise, why worry?
14. "You better have kids before you're too old."
I'm sure when they come, it will be the right time. No worries here.
15. "Is there something wrong with you....physically?"
If there is, maybe it might be too personal for me to talk about. Even if there wasn't, why would it matter? This is only a personal question that a mother or family member should be asking. Not a friend.
16. "That is such an insult to your mother. Don't you want to be like her?"
My kindergarten teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I said "I want to be a mommy like my mommy and have babies". Unfortunately, things don't always work out the way that we plan them. No insult to my mother.
17. "If you don't have children, your husband will leave you for someone who wants one." Nothing can be any more untrue. I am his world, and he does not base my worth on whether I can have children or not.
18. "But who is going to take care of you when your'e old?"
Kids aren't made for that, although in some scenerious we do see that. I'll be taken care of one way or the other. Depending on God!
19. "You might think you don't want to have them, but once you do; you'll love them." Maybe being a mother might not be so bad. But it's a big responsibility as well.
20. "It must be so nice to have time to go to the movies."
Not everyone without kids is killing time. I've got goals to accomplish!
22. "We didn't invite you because there are going to be kids there."
What are you talking about, I love kids!
23. "You must be able to afford vacations. You are so lucky."
Remember, people without kids also have jobs and responsibilities.
24. "Having kids is the best decision I ever made."
I'm happy for you. Would you like a cookie? I think it would have been a better decision for me not to have them in the situation and circumstance I came from. But maybe things will change. Who knows?
25. "Gosh! I wish I could just sleep in at least one day a week!"
Regaurdless if you signed up for that or not, it is what it is. Deal with it!
26. "It's just a phase, you'll grow out of it."
27. "So, when are you going to start a family?"
I have a family already, what are you taking about?
28. "Ha! Seeing my little monsters must be birth control for you."
No, not really. Some women don't choose to have problems being able to have children. Nevertheless, there are some that just plainly choose not to have them. Whatever the case maybe, ever situation is different.
29. "I'm too busy."
Kids are not the only thing that takes up a person's day.
30. "It's a mom thing, you wouldn't understand."
True maybe, but that doesn't minimize my ability to be there for you as a friend; and give you some support.
The conclusion of the whole message is this: Be content with whatever state you are in. Don't base your happiness or your peronal worth on whether you can have kids or not. Not everyone is capable of having them, and taking care of them. Be yourself, follow the dreams God has put in your heart. Every person is different, and every life is different. Don't compare your circumstances with someone else's. He may have a different plan for you. God bless!