Updated: Oct 20, 2020
I am not your labels!
And some of them are downright laughable.
When was the last time someone tried to make you feel less than or not worthy? Boy, do I have a collection, as you can see!
So why the hate?
The Rude Comments above are for celebrating my unique dark hair shade. The ones in the middle are for taking a stand for what I believe. And the bottom ones... well... I'll let you figure that one out. It's a blend of hate, prejudice, & jealousy.
No Scars To Your Beautiful
Firstly, I grew up hating my dark hair color because of this Aryan pagan beauty ideal that was very much instilled in society and the people around me. Everyone wanted light hair. Everyone was lightening their hair to make themselves look more 'beautiful' or 'younger looking'. My siblings were praised for their ruby red tresses and blonde curls. I couldn't help but to look in the mirror and notice that I did not possess these qualities that my brothers and sister were so praised for. It broke me.
Growing up and through young adulthood, I felt invisible to people. Well, they did see me. They just didn't see me as different like my siblings.
And having a rare eye color didn't help, either. I was told I was ugly many times as a kid and it really hurt.
This type of self-hate is taught. I took a good look at myself and asked: "What is wrong with everyone? Why don't they like me?" I knew that I wasn't ugly.
That is why, for a long time; I wrestled with this. After all that effort I put into myself, I started to question: "Why am I doing this? Who am I trying to please? Why is this world so superficial? There is more to a girl than what meets the eye."
So as I began this journey to embrace my natural hair, people began to notice and started to throw their biases at me (to add insult to injury) which made it even more difficult. Dark-haired women may not be the most elevated in our community, but when a dark-haired woman begins to be confident with her natural look, it may make some people extremely angry.
You don't have to change a thing, the world can change its heart!
They may try to remind you of where they are placing you in society. They may try to put you down. But their view is their problem, not yours. You've gain self-confidence. You're soaring. You are winning with your natural hair. Never be ashamed of being a brunette or raven-haired. Because you will discover that the men who appreciate and want what you have to offer will begin to look your way (for those single ladies out there). I found myself a wonderful companion who loves me for life, and he loves my hair, too.
This is why I began to stop caring about what others think. You will lose yourself trying to please everyone. So be who you are unapologetically, and realize that not everyone will like you, and it really doesn't matter. So I say to the haters: Hate away. I'm not changing myself for your approval.
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
Also, if you stand for something, be prepared to be hated (and loved at the same time). I've been called an 'idiot', a 'moron', 'stupid', 'mentally ill' by both those of Neo-Nazi and Marxist ideas, and more times than I care to show for sharing my Conservative views. And this is only because these people don't have an argument. They don't have anything of value to bring to the table, so they resort to name-calling. What did Socrates say about this?
"When a debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers"
So when someone resorts to insults, congratulations! You've just won the argument. Move on to someone else who will be willing to listen to what you have to say and leave behind those who wish to remain in their ignorance.
However, if you were the one who was in error, don't be afraid to admit that you are wrong. We are all wrong at times. No one has a corner when it comes to truth. Do more research. Educate yourself and learn as much as you can. You can't go wrong with that. Only a true idiot, moron, or stupid person refused to admit they are wrong when they are. Even the scripture states: "He who hates reproof is stupid."
Dealing With Self-Hate and Prejudice
Lastly, I've been put down by others for loving my European roots and posting pictures of my ancestors and the cultures they came from. It's my heritage. So why the hate? It seems that these people hate me for my skin color. And personally, I'm getting fed up with this 'you come from an evil people' & 'you should be ashamed of your ancestors' propaganda nonsense.
No other group of people are expected to apologize for "group failures". No other group of people are expected to feel sorry for the past mistakes of their people. Nobody who says these things have any idea about my ancestors or the great things they did for this country.
No one has the moral high ground. Nobody! I don't care who you are. And with all that has been going on, I'm getting more and more hate for it by these people who have swallowed the propaganda hook. I'm done arguing their pretexts. It's a waste of time.
This is why I began to rebel against it all. Because the only one I have to seek approval from is God. The only one I have to apologize to is the Lord for MY sins.
In this, I've learned to love and embrace everything that makes me who I am. It's what God gave me. He colored my hair and skin the way that he did because he liked it. So what if I'm not the rarest? So what if I'm not a tanned blonde? So what if I'm not a ginger-skinned freckled redhead? It doesn't matter! My color does not define my value as a person or God's love for me. So what if my ancestors weren't perfect in every single way? Were yours?
What did Jesus say? "He who has not sinned, let him cast the first stone."
You don't get to decide who my ancestors were. That had already been determined by God. And they are not all of those ungodly labels you wish to put on them.
I am not a color! I am a spirit being, created in God's image, and we are all made in his image. I'm not measuring myself against anything other than what God wants me to be. Period!
I hope you all know that you are loved just the way that you are. Don't ever get sucked into this idea that you have to measure yourself by some beauty ideal or feel bad because of your skin.
Don't try to hide your authentic self because someone might not like you. This serves as a reminder that we are NOT the labels people put on us.
I'm so glad I serve a God who loves me. I am not a color to him. I am a spirit being created in his image and likeness. It doesn't matter what people say, because I am custom made (we all are). And I couldn’t be more loved by my Father in heaven.
They may talk, but we don’t have to listen. They don’t get to tell us who we are!