Read Know Your Worth - Part 1 to get the full message if you haven't already. Here I will cover my story on how I overcame bullying!
Even if you were to achieve your goal, would it truly change the way you feel about yourself? There are others that thought this would be the answer, and actually have done it thinking that the feelings of happiness, security and confidence would also be attached to their success or change. But they are baffled to find that they are still feeling insecure about themselves on the inside. Why is that? Because achieving their own goals doesn’t mean that their self-rejection has withered. Why hasn’t it? Because your low self-esteem still needs to be altered. It’s ok to have high goals or achieve your dreams, just don’t let your love and acceptance of yourself depend on them.
Changing your self-view can change your self-esteem.
The problem is in your head, and your “not good enough” self-image. Bad emotions are not the root of the problem, but rather the fruit of the problem: your view of yourself. And if you allow other’s negative opinions to determine that view, that is even worse, especially when dealing with things like bullying. Know your worth, as I always say. Change what you are viewing, and how you are measuring yourself. Stop looking at the things that demand you conform to an unrealistic image. Realize that is not what your self-worth comes from. It’s what you choose to put your faith in. Is it the creator (God) and what he thinks? Or is it in the false image (the world mindset)? You can shift these things in your mind by allowing yourself to focus on the things that will truly matter.
How I Overcame Bullying
Later on, I moved back to Boron (where I was previously) after my mother and step-dad divorced. But I began to develop a new vision. I began to apply a different self-image in my mind, and this is something I did at the age of 10-years-old. Anyone can do it! Once I began to change the way I thought about myself, the way others treated me changed. You’ve got to have respect for yourself, and realize that you are worth so much more than that. Also, be very careful who you let into your life. Negative people can have a bad influence on you. Stay away from people that will try to tare you down. Surround yourself with people who love you. Finding a good friend is hard enough, but when you do; hold onto them. That can have a significant impact as well. Every time a kid had a negative remark to tell me about my face or me in general, I had something to say about myself that was positive, and I decided to let them know that. “You must need glasses then, because I know I’m pretty”. Even though you may not have control over what the bully says, you can have control over what you think about yourself, and that’s exactly what I did. And you know what I’ve learned? What you say about yourself is how men will view you. It wasn’t long until that same boy changed his mind about me. It may be because he heard what I said about myself and saw the real me instead of what others were saying about me. From that moment, I took it further and decided to let others in my life. I was so surprised about the response of people who would actually consider being friends with me that didn’t before whenever I pushed them away or didn’t talk to them. Sometimes, it takes effort on your part to make friends. Sometimes, it takes you going and talking to the person first. Let me tell you, some of the best friends I ever had were ones I actually made the conservative effort to talk to first. Some things don’t just fall in your lap. You’ve got to invest into it.
People will have their opinions.
You can’t change that. You can be the prettiest and sweetest thing out there, but there will always be those who will try and belittle you, make fun of you, treat you like dirt, criticize you, and even bully you. But there will always be those who love you as well. Keep in mind, not everyone is going to like you for who you are. That’s just a raw fact. But you can’t let the negative opinions of others define your worth or confidence. But you’ve got to see it for yourself! Learn to love yourself, and allow others in your life who will love you for who you really are. Don’t try to be something you are not so you can have more friends, or to be accepted by others. At the same time, don’t shut people out of your life either. Allow others to get to know the real you. Don’t push others away that want you in their lives. That will only make self-rejection even worse.
Overcoming the results of bullying and self-rejection are never easy. Recognize that your worth doesn’t come from the opinions of people nor society’s expectations. You’ve got to learn to love yourself.